At school, the girl notices how absolutely fabulous the other girls look like around their boyfriends, with their perfect hair, perfect complexion, perfect eye makeup. When she compares her fashion sense, body, face, personality-to everyone around her, she's pulled down instead of lifted up. She knows that when she makes it to her locker between classes, there's going to be notes and mean jokes in and around it, pointed at how unpopular, unfit, and imperfect she is.
He barely lifts up his chin for his eyes to be seen most days, knowing that no matter what happens during the day away from home, he has to return home eventually-home to two fighting parents, who's arguing is relentless; to the realization that he really has lost his best friend, the only person who carried him through rough times and helped him feel like, to some degree, its all okay; and he feels lost in all ways, emotionally drained to the last point with all the burdens placed upon him, still only just a teenager.
The everyday struggles of you, me-and every single one of the seven billion people on this planet remain largely hidden or disguised every day. Instead of every person having at least persons around them they could talk to for comfort and hope, they're faced with the despairing idea that no one cares, no one even exists who would care to try solving their problems, let alone listen to them being said and communicated about.
I know how it feels to be like this. Too many times, I'm asked "how are you?" and the only reply I dare to give is "I'm good" or something uncomplicated such as that, when I really am anything but that; when I am with others, I smile and laugh to the best of my ability, many times hiding those emotions swirling inside me behind a happy mask; I act emotionally stable around others, but when alone, can easily break down.
The sad thing is many people experience tough times, hard times, alone-because though there may be many persons in people's lives, they feel there is none to ease the pain or truly trust to talk to. There's billions on this earth; and yet many are experiencing all this continuingly with no change.
Very recently, a close friend of mine and I were chatting online together, and practically out of the blue, this forever-keep-never-lose friend of mine didn't just assure me she was "here" for me, but that she actually really wanted me confiding in her for any and all problems I have, just anything, as she said it. I literally paused for a few moments before typing any response after reading her message, just staring at my screen, beyond grateful for such a caring, selfless friend. She wasn't just letting me know nonchalantly that she would listen to my problems; she wanted to me to really know that she's here for me 24/7, for everything going on in my life. I felt like crying, knowing my friend really is one in a million in the very best ways.
In all the struggles, tough experiences and emotional pain around us and within us-friends like mine I mentioned are who we really all need. Someone to speak with and talk to freely about our problems, knowing the other person really cares, is here for us, and is concerned about us. That's what the entire world needs more of-more people like my (needless to say, very true and genuine) friend. So the question is, will you be that friend for someone? Letting them know consistently that you're concerned about them and that you do care? Will you rise to the challenge of brightening others' lives, and being the friend so many need? Will you be that friend?
Lots of Love,
Veroni <3
Thursday, September 1, 2016
Friday, July 29, 2016
Is Modesty Worth It?
(Note: The topic of modesty may seem always directed exclusively at girls, but this blog post is written for both girls AND boys. Modesty really applies to both despite common misconception on that subject at times. Also, I'm not pointing this post out to anyone at all in particular; I'm simply bringing the subject up, and also just saying, that I do not judge others on how they dress, ever. Its always great to strive for modesty in how we act and dress, but passing judgment on others isn't acceptable just because how they dress. Just clarifying for all you beautiful peeps! =D)
Modesty IS hard. No doubt about it, modesty's hard and gets exceptionally tough at times, growing up in our teenage years in a society and culture that believes anything that feels good should be done, and "if you've got it, flaunt it." Yes, I've heard various radical feminists say just that! Because they view the body as something to show off and nothing more, perhaps.
The question that may often arise in our heads is, is modesty, trying our best to keep pure, really worth it? If you want to attract the right guy (or girl) it really is. Wearing something that's revealing while at the same time hoping a Christian, godly guy (or girl) to single you out is expecting far too much. If you want a Christian, loving, respectful, good person for your future spouse, dressing and acting modestly is the first step towards attracting someone like that to you.
Additionally, modesty is not simply dressing in a fashion that covers up what shouldn't be seen. Its a frame of mind, thought of heart, and way of life. If your actions, words, and how you act around others reflect how you modestly dress, then you're truly being modest and genuine about it. Remember always, that the number one reason you are choosing to make decisions in favor of modesty is because its what God wants. All the other reasons come after.
Sadly to say, not everyone will accept your fashion or modesty trends (most especially if you suddenly decide to adapt them!). In fact, some people may think you're crazy and socially out of the norm for them. For example, I've been made fun of for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. As a girl, if you decide to halt the bikini wearing and go for more modest looks (personally I like tankinis the most!) a lot of peers might think you're overdoing the modesty thing. And guys who wear shirts with swim trunks will probably be made fun of, too. But its easier to go through things like that knowing you're doing what God wishes, and staying true to yourself. Wearing clothes that don't flaunt and show off your body just means you're confident enough around others not to have to show off your body to be happy and satisfied with yourself. It will actually make a statement to your peers, and more importantly than being "cool," you will be respected.
Also to quickly note, modesty (in this example as a girl) does not mean you're wearing a black turtleneck sweater with an unfashionable skirt down to your ankles. NOT AT ALL. Modesty can and usually is quite fashionable! Its really easy to combine many trendy looks with modesty intertwined. ;)
Hopefully this post encouraged you in your decision to be godly and respect your own body enough to not have to flaunt it in front of others for attention, to fit in, or whatever other reasons you may have. In fact, googling the word "flaunt", defines it as: "display (ing) (something) ostentatiously [pretenious or showy way to impress] especially in order to provoke envy or admiration or to show defiance." What Christian or virtous person wants to do that any way with their body?! I personally don't want to incite envy and admiration in a showy, pretenious way with others! :P I'd feel bad about myself and doing this to others. So before choosing an outfit to buy or wear, or deciding on a way to act, ask yourself if its appropriate first. You're then already well on your way to acting and dressing modestly as God would wish you to do. ;)
God bless you, girls AND guys! Don't forget if you ever need extra encouragement, or just someone to talk to, you are more than welcome to private message me! :)
Lots of love from the heart,
~Veroni
Modesty IS hard. No doubt about it, modesty's hard and gets exceptionally tough at times, growing up in our teenage years in a society and culture that believes anything that feels good should be done, and "if you've got it, flaunt it." Yes, I've heard various radical feminists say just that! Because they view the body as something to show off and nothing more, perhaps.
The question that may often arise in our heads is, is modesty, trying our best to keep pure, really worth it? If you want to attract the right guy (or girl) it really is. Wearing something that's revealing while at the same time hoping a Christian, godly guy (or girl) to single you out is expecting far too much. If you want a Christian, loving, respectful, good person for your future spouse, dressing and acting modestly is the first step towards attracting someone like that to you.
Additionally, modesty is not simply dressing in a fashion that covers up what shouldn't be seen. Its a frame of mind, thought of heart, and way of life. If your actions, words, and how you act around others reflect how you modestly dress, then you're truly being modest and genuine about it. Remember always, that the number one reason you are choosing to make decisions in favor of modesty is because its what God wants. All the other reasons come after.
Sadly to say, not everyone will accept your fashion or modesty trends (most especially if you suddenly decide to adapt them!). In fact, some people may think you're crazy and socially out of the norm for them. For example, I've been made fun of for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. As a girl, if you decide to halt the bikini wearing and go for more modest looks (personally I like tankinis the most!) a lot of peers might think you're overdoing the modesty thing. And guys who wear shirts with swim trunks will probably be made fun of, too. But its easier to go through things like that knowing you're doing what God wishes, and staying true to yourself. Wearing clothes that don't flaunt and show off your body just means you're confident enough around others not to have to show off your body to be happy and satisfied with yourself. It will actually make a statement to your peers, and more importantly than being "cool," you will be respected.
Also to quickly note, modesty (in this example as a girl) does not mean you're wearing a black turtleneck sweater with an unfashionable skirt down to your ankles. NOT AT ALL. Modesty can and usually is quite fashionable! Its really easy to combine many trendy looks with modesty intertwined. ;)
Hopefully this post encouraged you in your decision to be godly and respect your own body enough to not have to flaunt it in front of others for attention, to fit in, or whatever other reasons you may have. In fact, googling the word "flaunt", defines it as: "display (ing) (something) ostentatiously [pretenious or showy way to impress] especially in order to provoke envy or admiration or to show defiance." What Christian or virtous person wants to do that any way with their body?! I personally don't want to incite envy and admiration in a showy, pretenious way with others! :P I'd feel bad about myself and doing this to others. So before choosing an outfit to buy or wear, or deciding on a way to act, ask yourself if its appropriate first. You're then already well on your way to acting and dressing modestly as God would wish you to do. ;)
God bless you, girls AND guys! Don't forget if you ever need extra encouragement, or just someone to talk to, you are more than welcome to private message me! :)
Lots of love from the heart,
~Veroni
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Language of Your Heart
If you have never heard of them before, there are in fact five Love Languages. These individual "languages" of love are ways we both give and receive love with those around us. They include Gift-Giving, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
By knowing what each and all of the five love languages are, you can probably figure out which two (or perhaps three) are the most significant ways we want to receive love, and consequently, probably give it as well. For myself personally, my love languages are probably Physical Touch and Quality Time (Words of Affirmation are kinda big for me too). When I say my love languages include Physical Touch, I don't mean anything sensual or inappropriate, (and most people whose love language is PT probably don't either), it simply means that something as simple but affectionate as a hug makes me feel loved. I feel loved and cared about when I receive, for example, an affectionate hug from someone. That alone could make me smile at the worst of times, or make me feel better. Additionally, Quality Time is a big thing for me in a friendship or future romantic relationship. Spending time with a person, through talking, hanging out, or whatever way spending time together happens-is what really makes me feel close or cared about by a person.
Another key to really giving someone the feeling of being loved (this is especially going for a romantic relationship, if you are in one, married or dating) is to understand what his or her love languages are, then finding ways to love that person in those ways the most. For example, if your boyfriend's love languages are, say, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation, you want to clearly focus in way of showing your love, by spending time with him, and affirming him in words and through verbal communication. Though all of the love languages are to be expressed at different times with a person, making sure especially using the two or three that's best for a friend can effectively help them feel special and cared about.
One of the keys to any relationship's success and growth is understanding each other's love languages. Though most people would not go so far as to say knowing about and utilizing the love languages are essential for a relationship, they surely are vital if you wish for the growth and strength of a relationship. Whether this relationship has the status of a simple but close friendship, or is romantic, the love languages will improve it. Think about any disagreements or bad fights you've ever had with a best or close friend, or really anyone important in your life before. Could it have been possible that knowing and utilizing specific love languages would have prevented those arguments, or reduced the tension in them? And what about any bad disagreement or break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend? Perhaps a guy's girlfriend was upset because her boyfriend was failing to spend healthy, alone time together, though he didn't even realize it. Had he known that one of her love languages was Quality Time, and being aware of it, could have possibly prevented their disagreement.
The beauty of the Love Languages is that they complement a person's actual personality, style, uniqueness, in a way to communicate and render love to and from others. Hopefully you'll see the beauty of it too, and use it in any significant relationship (remember it doesn't necessarily need to be a romantic one!) you choose to.
Enjoy beginning to speak specially in the language of your heart with a close friend, family member, or girlfriend or boyfriend ;) <3
Lots of love from the heart,
~Veroni
By knowing what each and all of the five love languages are, you can probably figure out which two (or perhaps three) are the most significant ways we want to receive love, and consequently, probably give it as well. For myself personally, my love languages are probably Physical Touch and Quality Time (Words of Affirmation are kinda big for me too). When I say my love languages include Physical Touch, I don't mean anything sensual or inappropriate, (and most people whose love language is PT probably don't either), it simply means that something as simple but affectionate as a hug makes me feel loved. I feel loved and cared about when I receive, for example, an affectionate hug from someone. That alone could make me smile at the worst of times, or make me feel better. Additionally, Quality Time is a big thing for me in a friendship or future romantic relationship. Spending time with a person, through talking, hanging out, or whatever way spending time together happens-is what really makes me feel close or cared about by a person.
Another key to really giving someone the feeling of being loved (this is especially going for a romantic relationship, if you are in one, married or dating) is to understand what his or her love languages are, then finding ways to love that person in those ways the most. For example, if your boyfriend's love languages are, say, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation, you want to clearly focus in way of showing your love, by spending time with him, and affirming him in words and through verbal communication. Though all of the love languages are to be expressed at different times with a person, making sure especially using the two or three that's best for a friend can effectively help them feel special and cared about.
One of the keys to any relationship's success and growth is understanding each other's love languages. Though most people would not go so far as to say knowing about and utilizing the love languages are essential for a relationship, they surely are vital if you wish for the growth and strength of a relationship. Whether this relationship has the status of a simple but close friendship, or is romantic, the love languages will improve it. Think about any disagreements or bad fights you've ever had with a best or close friend, or really anyone important in your life before. Could it have been possible that knowing and utilizing specific love languages would have prevented those arguments, or reduced the tension in them? And what about any bad disagreement or break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend? Perhaps a guy's girlfriend was upset because her boyfriend was failing to spend healthy, alone time together, though he didn't even realize it. Had he known that one of her love languages was Quality Time, and being aware of it, could have possibly prevented their disagreement.
The beauty of the Love Languages is that they complement a person's actual personality, style, uniqueness, in a way to communicate and render love to and from others. Hopefully you'll see the beauty of it too, and use it in any significant relationship (remember it doesn't necessarily need to be a romantic one!) you choose to.
Enjoy beginning to speak specially in the language of your heart with a close friend, family member, or girlfriend or boyfriend ;) <3
Lots of love from the heart,
~Veroni
Monday, July 25, 2016
Independent or Interdependent?
Recently I finished reading an in-depth guide and study book on relationships (relationships of all kinds, including friendships and romantic ones, primarily the latter though) that brought up a lot for me to think about that I never seriously considered before.
One point that was brought up in The Seven Levels of Intimacy was that, though we can deny it, we as human creatures are not and were not created to be, completely independent, entirely on our own in this life, but rather, we're interdependent. We strive on close friendships and relationships with others, depending on them, trusting people, and loving them.
To me, this idea that we are meant to be interdependent was originally a bit staggering and surprising, since I've always prided myself on being somewhat of an independent person (okay, I'm far from entirely independent, but in some ways I pretty much am). What the author (by the way, Matthew Kelly, one of my favorite authors ever) meant by saying we're naturally interdependent, not independent, is that we shouldn't be an island, firmly believing we do not need anyone else. To be interdependent means we lean on others, we need others, and we trust others.
This really does make sense when you look at any single person and his or her need for emotional support, for friendship with others. So why do a lot of us insist that we're independent, we don't need others, we may even try convincing ourselves, we don't want others in close and tangible ways?
I think the main reason why we resist becoming dependent on a person or people in general is because we know when we do that, when we choose to trust and love someone entirely, we know then we're becoming totally and undeniably vulnerable. For many to break down their walls and allow this, is a scary concept not even to be thought of. But its true. Loving someone, allowing them to trust you and you trust them means you become vulnerable and open to them, and vice-versa.
So the question is, will you make yourself vulnerable and open to others completely? I ask myself this at times, because I have made the choice to make myself so I guess, to make myself vulnerable to particular people, realizing I'm not totally independent like I may have thought before. In the past, I've trusted people, having given them total trust and love from myself. Almost just as many times I've done that, I have also been hurt, realizing when you make yourself vulnerable, that very well can and may happen. It hurts when that love and trust given from the heart is abused, and when you have that experience, you begin to wonder if the risk of vulnerability outweighs the reward of finding someone who really loves you back, again is honestly worth it.
So the choice becomes inevitably our own. Will we choose love, trust, and vulnerability of our hearts? Will we be independent throughout our lives entirely, thinking we're perfectly okay on our own, or embrace interdependence that God made us for to experience with others, despite the potential risks it involves that we fear?
Lots of love from the heart,
~Veroni
One point that was brought up in The Seven Levels of Intimacy was that, though we can deny it, we as human creatures are not and were not created to be, completely independent, entirely on our own in this life, but rather, we're interdependent. We strive on close friendships and relationships with others, depending on them, trusting people, and loving them.
To me, this idea that we are meant to be interdependent was originally a bit staggering and surprising, since I've always prided myself on being somewhat of an independent person (okay, I'm far from entirely independent, but in some ways I pretty much am). What the author (by the way, Matthew Kelly, one of my favorite authors ever) meant by saying we're naturally interdependent, not independent, is that we shouldn't be an island, firmly believing we do not need anyone else. To be interdependent means we lean on others, we need others, and we trust others.
This really does make sense when you look at any single person and his or her need for emotional support, for friendship with others. So why do a lot of us insist that we're independent, we don't need others, we may even try convincing ourselves, we don't want others in close and tangible ways?
I think the main reason why we resist becoming dependent on a person or people in general is because we know when we do that, when we choose to trust and love someone entirely, we know then we're becoming totally and undeniably vulnerable. For many to break down their walls and allow this, is a scary concept not even to be thought of. But its true. Loving someone, allowing them to trust you and you trust them means you become vulnerable and open to them, and vice-versa.
So the question is, will you make yourself vulnerable and open to others completely? I ask myself this at times, because I have made the choice to make myself so I guess, to make myself vulnerable to particular people, realizing I'm not totally independent like I may have thought before. In the past, I've trusted people, having given them total trust and love from myself. Almost just as many times I've done that, I have also been hurt, realizing when you make yourself vulnerable, that very well can and may happen. It hurts when that love and trust given from the heart is abused, and when you have that experience, you begin to wonder if the risk of vulnerability outweighs the reward of finding someone who really loves you back, again is honestly worth it.
So the choice becomes inevitably our own. Will we choose love, trust, and vulnerability of our hearts? Will we be independent throughout our lives entirely, thinking we're perfectly okay on our own, or embrace interdependence that God made us for to experience with others, despite the potential risks it involves that we fear?
Lots of love from the heart,
~Veroni
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